Another gas story

So yes, all my posts are a little gassy in nature. But come on, farting is FUNNY! So just to keep people informed, I can't eat wheat or milk, or things get UGLY in the digestive area. But, unfortunately when I am at work, I have absolutely no self control to resist fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and coffee. So about an hour after that huge lapse in dietary judgment, I get real uncomfortable. So I was in my office, trying real hard to get rid of that unpleasant feeling. I was farting and burping, intentionally, to try to make myself feel better. I did this for about 10 minutes. Then all of a sudden I stopped and realized that I hadn't even looked behind me (my chair faces away from the office) to see if anyone else was in the room. Yeah, like I said, NO shame.

Running toots

Does anyone else have a problem with farting while running? I am a gas machine when I put one leg in front of the other. I was on the treadmill the other day and was really gaseous. What am I saying? I am ALWAYS gaseous. All my friends, family and former roommates can tell you that I fart basically all the time. Disgusting? Pretty much, but what am I supposed to do about it? I just go with it.

Anyways, back to the treadmill. I joined a new gym and was there for my first exercise experience. I am pretty sure I made an awesome impression on my fellow gym members. I could not stop farting. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't loud enough to hear, but then I turned my headset off and could not make that excuse to myself any longer. It was LOUD and it smelled BAD. There was nothing subtle about it. And all the treadmills were packed. Yes, I was that girl. And the best part, try as I might to pretend that it was someone else, the woman on my right was walking and NOT wearing headphones. So of course, she knew it was me. But I just kept running, because, hey, I needed to work out!

Hello

So I am here, blogging. I am one of those people. Why you might ask? Because I have lots to say and I am way too lazy (or I like to tell myself busy) to actually put pen to paper. If you are easily grossed out or think that farting is gross, you probably shouldn't read this. That isn't the whole point of my blog, but I have very little shame and will share all my funny stories, even if no one else likes them. So yeah, here goes.